Rock Of Ages – Garrick Theatre 02.11.2013 (Muck-Up Matinee)

So the dreaded day had finally come around. No excuses, no avoidings anymore – today our Happy Place would be teared down and we would all have to say Goodbye to all these people that grew to our hearts so much over the past 2 years.

I was meeting up with some other RoAdies in front of the Garrick at about 12:30pm. It was sunny, though chilly and windy, and we were all already shaken up a bit, but determined to give out our last farewell gifts, books, cards, and tried to get our Stage Door pics and hugs and chats from/with the Cast, as we might not get the chance for that later. It already started with tears when I came up to my lovely friend Sarah, she opened up her arms, we hugged tightly, and I instantly felt tears welling up in my eyes, without her even saying anything. After a while, Nathan Amzi & Simon Lipkin arrived – quite early, and when they asked us if we were alright, we all said “No!” and Simon went “What? Why not, it’s a beautiful day!” with a smile, and we went “No, it’s a horrible day, don’t say that!” They went inside and almost instantly came out again, telling us they would be back soon, but wanted to have one last supper together as colleagues – SO adorable. Everyone else was coming in shortly after another – Natalie Andreou telling us she had a funny tummy and not slept much the night before, Cordelia Farnworth, Scarlette Douglas, Andy Spillett, Ross Hunter…and when Rohan Tickell hobbled towards us on two crutches, we were all at a loss for words and started crying instantly. He had been off stage for a couple of weeks now, and it had been said that he probably wouldn’t be able to make it to the last show, but seeing him there, knowing he would be there after all – at that point, we only thought they’d bring him back on a cane for the last applause, we had NO idea! – was one of the most beautiful things ever.
At one point, Nicky & Laura showed up, two of the RoAdies I haven’t met before, and they had little Goodie Bags for almost everybody with them, with a small lollipop, a package of handkerchiefs, a small party popper, some sweets…and a beautiful purple rubber wristband that had “Proud ROAdie” and “Don’t Stop Believin'” printed on it. Love them to bits for this little surprise!
And FINALLY, I got to meet the wonderful Laura & Alison, both with whom I had talked on fb for over a week now, and I had been dying to finally meet them and take them into my arms – that hug Laura gave me was probably the best thing ever for me that day, and it’s a thing I will keep in my heart forever, because she’s one of the most wonderful people you’ll ever meet, and it’s just a shame our time together on that day was way too short.

The hardest moment of this entire last “Pre-Show Stage Door Experience” was probably the moment that Sarah and our friend Rebecca had seen a post that Jodie Jacobs had made on twitter; a note that she wrote on her IPhone and then had made a screenshot of it to post it on there. While I was reading through the first few lines, I felt the tears coming back, I choked up, couldn’t even read properly to the end, and when I finished and looked up at Sarah and Rebecca, we instantly gave each other a long, strong group hug – I love my RoAdies. And I don’t know if that is a good thing, but I love Jodie for that post, I love her for breaking our hearts like this, for showing us her love for that show and us as their fans.  Everyone had their fare share of tears before the show, I lost count of how many times I hugged Alison because she started to cry and couldn’t seem to stop, how many times I stroke her and Sarah’s hair when both started crying along with me when Ross arrived…it was mental, absolutely mental. And still, I treasure this for the rest of my life, because we were all together and there to support each other.

Then, it was finally time for the Muck-Up Matinee – a show where no one actually does what they are supposed to do, they go off script even more than they usually do. I was beyond excited as this would be my first ever Muck-Up Matinee. There were LOADS of amazing, hilarious things during that show, so I’m going to give you a list of the things that happened – even if you don’t think they’re funny or don’t understand them – guess you have to know the show to do so.

Welcome To The Sunset Strip/Nothin’ But A Good Time
– The Pizza Box Photo that is usually Nathan wanting to be hired for a job was now that one of a WWE wrestler with Dan Fletcher’s head on it
– When Dan entered the Bourbon Room, he bumped into the stairs and almost fell down
– The plunger Simon/Lonny uses fell apart

Sister Christian
– Nathan appeared, usually just wiggling his tongue at Natalie/Sherrie and grabbing at his crotch…this time, he completely put his tongue into her mouth, snoggling her, lifting her off her feet
– Instead of only Simon/Lonny doing it, this time, both Dan/Dennis and him started chewing on Natalie’s/Sherrie’s hair/wig

We Built This City / Too Much Time On My Hands
– When it was Simon’s/Lonny’s turn to run across the stage with his pants down, normally only followed by Dan/Dennis, this time, the girls, some guys from the crew and Ross Hunter followed him with their pants down
– Simon/Lonny & Dan/Dennis repeatedly hitted Ross/Drew in the chest

Heaven/More Than Words/To Be With You
– When Simon/Lonny did his horse-riding bits, the conductor held up a picture of a horse
– Instead of just saying “Goddamnit!” when he bursts onto stage, Simon/Lonny shouted “F***ng goddamnit!”

Waiting For A Girl Like You
– When Ross/Drew & Natalie/Sherrie opened their picnic blanket, a lot of glitter fell out
– At the end, when Tim Howar’s/Stacee Jaxx’ silhouette appeared in the Bourbon Room door, there was another silhouette that stick his tongue out at his crotch (I strongly believe it was Simon tbh)

Wanted Dead Or Alive
– Tim/Stacee started an absolutely hysterical laugh just after his band called him “Asshole” that went on for minutes, even after he fell of his chair, asking for a tissue, he couldn’t stop laughing – ironically, different from the usual script, no other Cast Member was laughing with him

I Want To Know What Love Is
– Dan/Dennis bursted out of the toilet door while Natalie/Sherrie was standing right next to it, leaving her absolutely startled and grinning when he ran off with his pants still down
– Not only Natalie’s/Sherrie’s boots appeared at the end of the scene, but also Tim’s/Stacee’s showed up above

Cum On Feel The Noize
– Simon/Lonny gave the entire band High-Fives, then riffed along with them, saying “Let’s get this party started”, which somehow slightly sounded like that song from P!nk
– The Cast put up a medley of “We Built This City” along with “We’re Not Gonna Take It”, just as it happened to be in the movie

Harden My Heart/Shadows Of The Night
– After Simon/Lonny stopped playing the Saxophone with his mouth and shaking the spit out of it, as he usually does, he put the thing to his bum and pretended to play it that way
– Rachel/Justice put up quite a long “News” riff
– When Simon/Lonny appears at the door of the Venus Club – usually wearing his crop top, the tassle and his normal pants – he was completely dressed in panties, suspenders & heels; when he got to Rachel/Justice from behind, she started making him grind at her intimately

Any Way You Want It
– Cordelia/Groupie showed up as one of the dancers, and instead of saying “Hi” and showing Natalie/Sherrie her inappropriate gesture, she just gave her a hateful glare and flipped her off
– Dan/Dennis started licking Natalie/Sherrie while she was giving him as the Sleazier Record Producer a Lapdance
– Nathan/Paul Gill undid Ross’/Drew’s belt while he got his Make-Over

Dreams are like Rainbows
– After Jodie/Regina invoked “Wounded Knee”, and things got completely heated between Simon/Lonny and Sandy/Franz, Dan/Dennis told them to “Calm the fuck down!”
– Simon/Lonny mimicked Dan/Dennis while he was gesturing towards Sandy
– After Dan/Dennis got his Oscar, finally he got to kiss Selina as the Oscar Girl

High Enough
– Nathan/Paul Gill finally got around to lick Ross’/Drew’s crotch – something he was always prevented from
– During the “discussion scene” when Ross/Drew & Natalie/Sherrie fight over that he never said to her they were just friends, Simon/Lonny busted out of the Venus Club door, saying “Oh, oh, oh, yes you did! Am I right guys?” to the band

Beaver Hunt
– When Dylan/Joey Primo came out, he was wearing nothing but his jacket and a golden codpiece – while Simon/Lonny was standing behind him the entire time, grinning

I Hate Myself For Loving You/Heat Of The Moment
– Jodie/Candi listed up 12 different things that Stacee would get for 200 bucks (12 dances, 11 slush puppies, 10 chicken dinners, 9 sexy slush drops, 8 Falco Keyrings, 7 slaps in his face, 6 signed Shayne Ward CD’s, 5 5 gold rings, 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves, a cuddly toy and a full release)

Can’t Fight This Feeling
– Dan/Dennis did the split – and split his pants in doing so
– Simon/Lonny did a girly shriek when Dan/Dennis asked him what was going on
– Simon/Lonny & Dan/Dennis full on made out after Dan asked Simon if they were alone; they unbuckled each others pants, Simon undid Dan’s shirt, they full-on kissed on the mouth, lay down and literally just made out

Every Rose Has Its Thorn
– When Rachel/Justice asks Natalie/Sherrie if Destiny/Scarlette stole her body lotion again, you could hear Scarlette shout “I didn’t steal nothing!” from backstage

Programme Scene (before and during)
– Jodie/Candi declared “This pizza looks awesome!” after Ross/Drew gave her the screwed up pizza that always falls on the floor (instead of saying “This pizza looks like shit!”)
– Simon/Lonny shows up in the exact same pizza delivery boy outfit as Ross/Drew, saying “Oh, one of us is gonna have to change!” and doing his Scrunchie Rap one last time (“It’s a scrunchie, it’s a scrunchie, it’s s to the c to the r to the u to the n to the c to the h i e…it’s a scrunchie, eh eh, it’s a scrunchie, eh hey you, I say srunch, you say chie, scrun-CHIE, scrun-CHIE! Yiip yiip yiyiyip, I’m talking about a scrunchie!” – Sorry, only funny if you’ve seen it yourself 😉 )
– Instead of animating everybody to his slow-clap, Simon/Lonny made Mickey Mouse ears and went “Boop-Boop-Boop” in the same speed, animating the audience to the the exact same thing

On The Chateau Marmont
– Wehn Rohan/Hertz starts crying because he lost his son, Jodie/Regina tells him to stop crying (“Stop! Stop it!”)
– After Rohan/Hertz tells Jodie/Regina that it’s crazy to jump of the Chateau, and she shouts around asking if it was crazy, instead of the usual opening of doors and everybody shouting “NO!” at her, the doors opened everywhere and the Cast went “NO! JUMP!”, leaving Jodie all startled and saying “I don’t even know how to respond to this.”

Epilogue
– Rohan/Hertz showing up on stage, not with a plastic bulldog on a leash, but with Tim Howar’s little white puppy schnauzer Rocky in his arm, wearing a black suit/formal wear
– Tim/Stacee changed up his usual line during “Renegade”, explaining how “Regina” rhymes with “pussy” indeed

Don’t Stop Believin’
– The baby that is born at the end this time was a little baby Simba Doll, so Ross/Drew & Natalie/Sherrie raised him up the “Lion King” way

Also, the first moment that unexpectedly Rohan Tickell showed up on stage with a cane, obviously being on his normal track as Hertz…it damn teared me up so much, if nothing had before that moment. I think we all lost it when we saw him coming on stage in the first bit, because it was something we had hoped for but never expected – love how that show even at its end didn’t fail to surprise us.

There are no other words as to say how absolutely A M A Z I N G that Matinee was, it was the best experience I had had in a theatre so far, and it’s something I will never ever forget. The Cast was absolutely on fire, and it did seem as if every time the audience was about to cry and having a breakdown, someone on that stage did something so ridiculously stupid or hilarious that you just couldn’t help but laugh. And no words in this world could ever thank anybody of them enough. They are true stars, and for me, they always will be.