Book Review: Jenny Lawson – “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”

Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives—the ones we’d like to pretend never happened—are in fact the ones that define us.
In the #1 New York Times bestseller, “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”, Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor. Chapters include: “Stanley the Magical, Talking Squirrel”; “A Series of Angry Post-It Notes to My Husband”; “My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking”; “And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane.” Pictures with captions (no one would believe these things without proof) accompany the text. (Source: goodreads.com)

How do you explain this book to anybody who has neither heard of it nor read it themselves? Answer: you can’t, which will make this blog post a lot of fun. Two things that are for sure about it, though: 1. I have never read a better and more entertaining book than this one, having me more than once in stitches including stupid grinning on the bus home and, as a result of that, weird looks from my felllow bus companions. And 2., never in my life have I used so many bookmarks in a book before (thank God I have it as a Kindle version, I guess. Would be funny to look at if on my bookshelf otherwise). There’s not one page in this book that will not make your fingers wanting to switch over to the “Put to bookmarks” button, I guarantee you.

For starters, Jenny Lawson didn’t have the best and wealthiest childhood in the world, if you think about money. With what she grew up were experiences. Weird experiences. Loads of them. For example, one day, her father, who was a taxidermist and always brought dead (or almost dead, that is) animals home for Jenny and her sister to play with. One of those lovely things was a little racoon called Rambo who attacked Jenny’s sister when they were little and Jenny described it as “…and it was totally awesome.” Or the part where she says that if the reader can’t take a book as disturbing as hers (with talking about standing in a dead animal in her father’s taxidermy shop), they should “get another book that’s less disturbing than this one. Like one about kittens. Or genocide.” Sadly, I am not making this up, this is exactly how it’s described in the book.

I know that mostly all of the experiences Jenny makes in this book, throughout her life, with a gang of turkeys (or, according to her father, “big quails”) following her around school, wild animals like racoons, cougars or goats showing up right next to your head all of a sudden, being an outcast at school, having more than one miscarriage, experiencing drugs, are not the stuff you should usually laugh about (except for the first two things, maybe). But the thing I personally love about this book is that there is no sugarcoating whatsoever in it. Jenny Lawson describes it as it has happened, as she has experienced and suffered through it, and she does it in the most entertaining way the reader could ever imagine. Her life hasn’t been kind to her all the time, but she got through it, she straightened her back, directed her gaze into the future and never looked back in pity. In fact, she embraced every single episode in her life, no matter how weird and unbelievable it has been. This is an ability I admire more than anything else, because it makes the story itself so vivid, and transfers the book into a complete pageturner, and, also, grabs you by the hand and doesn’t let you go until you’ve finished.

I have read critics about this book where people said they found Jenny Lawson “annoying”, “unbelievable” and “unsympathetic”. I, however, do not understand such an opinion. For me, even during the introduction of the book, she became one of the most sympathetic writers that are out in the world. Maybe it’s the fact that she is exactly like one of my friends, Laura, is, who’s got her own blog on here (mysticmonkey.wordpress.com), and who is the most entertaining writer/person for me. While I was reading, it was like I was reading a book of a friend like Laura. I instantly bonded with Jenny when I read about how her parents once kicked her out a driving car (which was totally an accident, don’t be shocked, you’ll understand it if you read it) in the introduction, and the way she writes and tells her life story…I can’t explain it, it just got to me, and was the foundation for me admiring this author to no end.

The ability to grab a reader by the hand, pulling them in and making them feel like a part of the book, like they can’t put the book down for even a second because they’d feel like a part of them is being put down – that is an ability that is the one that I, myself, strive for one day. Jenny Lawson’s writing talent is absolutely out of this world, she describes simple, normal, yet sometimes horrible facts of life in such a hilarious way that the reader can’t help but enjoy every single word of it. And me, personally, she got to the point where even just a few sentences into the introduction, I wished I wouldn’t have started the book because I knew I would have finished it just far too soon, and that I could read this book for the 1st time again.

There is no way I can give her only 5 out of 5 stars in my rating, so I’ll just say: go, buy this book. It’s worth every penny, and it will make your life brighter and is a true enrichment to every bookshelf.

Simply the BEST. BOOK. EVER. Thank you, Jenny Lawson. Well done. Very well done.

Cindy Aus Marzahn Live 27.04.2013

The third Comedy Show I had seen so far in my life…and definitely one of the weirdest nights of my entire life.
When I got to the Arena where the Show was playing, I had to get off my bus one stop earlier, only because the queue was already so long that it would’ve been a bad idea to drive to my actual bus stop and walk all the way back. When I was standing in the queue – all alone, sadly, as my friend had cancelled on me just a day after I’d booked my ticket, – I was freezing, and even some girls with a CD-Player, all dressed up as Cindy, having their bachelorette party and selling stuff, couldn’t brighten my mood or make me feel warmer. As soon as I came into the halls, there was one of the security people checking out our bags, and when she saw my Nikon Camera, she asked me if it was a single-lens reflex camera, and as I said yes, she said that I couldn’t take it inside with me and have to close it up in their safe – bummer. I was seriously asking myself why I had been so stupid to even bring that monster with me.
Anyways, when I finally sat in my seat, I noticed that it wasn’t that bad; I sat on the right of the hall, in the 4th row in the middle of the left-handed stand, and if I hadn’t the problem of being shortsighted and seeing things quite blurry when they’re further away, that seat would’ve been even better.
The show then started with a song that Cindy somehow usually does in her Live-Shows, and I have to admit, though she is not an actual singer, nor had she ever had any lessons in singing, she has a quite good voice, I really liked it. Well, and the Show…it was great, hilarious and some jokes where seriously made for grown-up ears, not for kids 😉 She always tends to pull the people in the audience into her programme, so it didn’t take long until she had figured out there were actually 5 (!!!) bachelorette parties amongst us, there was one girl named Diana, who’s 21st Birthday it was, and Cindy actually managed to get her a huge flower bouquet and a cake in the form of a heart, and I loved the way she played with the audience the entire 2 hours, with telling the service guys around to switch on the light to interact with a poor person in the audience who made the mistake to take a seat right at the front, and the light was so bright that every time it happened, the audience went “Ohhhhh!” and covered their eyes, and Cindy screaming “Good morning!” During the entire show, she called a guy on stage over and over again, who we simply knew as “Sexy Guy 36” (he wasn’t really sexy, to be honest LOL), and everytime he showed up, that one, really, really annoying girl that was dressed up as Cindy was screaming “Take off your clothes!” and Cindy made a huge joke of it over the entire show, rolling her eyes and asking “I should undress myself? You naughty thing!” (you need to know, Cindy is quite fat, her make-up is far too much, she always wears a pink jumpsuit on stage and just generally is every man’s worst nightmare; and though it’s just the role of a woman named Ilka Bessin, she plays it just perfectly). Also, during the second part of the show, she got 2 little girls onto the Stage, sitting right next to her on her “throne” who wanted an autograph from her, and she gave them a free jumpsuit of hers and promised them they could choose anything they wanted from the Merchandise Stand, which was so cute! All in all, the show was great, and it’s always something special to see one of your favourite comedians live instead on TV 🙂

The weird part happened after, when I was at the Main Station, ready to get the tram home: there were two guys walking around, and I actually always am scared when I’m around a Main Station all alone at night, because there are so many drunk and disgusting people, gosh, I hate that so much. Well, these two guys suddenly came up to me, let’s call them “Styler” and “Nerd”, and Styler asked me why the tram to Duesseldorf wasn’t showed anymore, and told me they had to get there, and I told them, I had to get there too, and that I had no idea, but that there was actually a different train inside the Main Station, if that tram wouldn’t arrive in time. Styler then asked me if I was living in Duesseldorf, or if I was going there to party, and when I told him I was just going home, straight to bed, because I was tired, he asked me (not very subtle, REALLY NOT): “Ahh, home to the boyfriend waiting” God, how NOT subtle, right? I told him that there was no one waiting for me at home, and he then asked me what I was doing in Krefeld that night, and when I told him I was at this Comedy Show, he said “With your boyfriend”, and I was like “Didn’t I just tell you that I don’t have one or what?” There I actually noticed that he and his friend, Nerd, weren’t actually drunk, as I feared, but a bit tipsy. Styler then asked me for my number, and when I gave it to him, he said he would text me the next day, with quite a smile. We were on the tram for a while together, Styler, Nerd and me, and sometimes, we talked about me and them, but most of the time, I rather read in my book, because, honestly, I don’t get along that well with people who drink alcohol. Sorry, but I just hate that. I must’ve come along pretty annoyed and distanced and not-interested at all in Styler, but still, when the two had to leave the tram, again, he said he’ll be texting me the next day, smiled at me again, shook my hand and gave me a slight “goodbye” peck on both cheeks (as you do around here).
Well, that was really a weird night. I’m sorry for not really writing about actual Theatre-related stuff, but I just had to get this out and this is my blog, so…yeah 😉

Ralf Schmitz Live 22.04.2012

Ralf Schmitz – a german comedian mostly known because of size (he’s so tiny it’s ridiculous, haha) and the fact that he seems always like he’s on drugs or something. He runs and hops hectically over the stage and everything goes so fast with him. But it was a hilarious night, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much and so hard in my entire life. After the show, he said that who’d like to, could come into the hall and grab an autograph and a pciture with him (of course, something he wouldn’t have to tell me (and Kim again 🙂 ) twice 😀
Sadly, the bodyguard who took my picture wasn’t a good photographer, so the pic turned out to be quite bad, because I’m standing so far behind, but still, it’s a lovely memory.