Con Blues – A Thread

Isn’t it weird how you do something for year after year, taking it for granted, and when it ends, you’re heartbroken, but after a while, life goes on…and then, a couple of years later, you get to do it again for just a couple of hours and you’re suddenly thrown back into it and realize how much you miss that time of your life?

For me, that was Convention Life. From 2011 to 2013, I went to 4 Conventions – 3 AECON’s and 1 Bloody Con, and I made memories I never want to miss, and friendships I never want to end. It was normal to go back every year to the different places, to freak out over guest announcements, to go skint by buying Photo Ops like there’s no tomorrow. But what I loved the most about it was the whole experience, the atmosphere you feel when you’re there. Even though there are exceptions, it all feels like a big family, everyone is there for the same reason, and even though you may not talk to most of the people, you all are connected in your minds and hearts, because you all share the love for the theme of those conventions. You have the time of your life, and just for that weekend, you forget anything you’re worrying about in your life, leave reality outside the doors.

And when it’s over, the “Conblues” sets in, even though you might not even be able to say why, because basically, what you’ve experienced was something good, something that makes you happy. You just want to go back and do it all over again, but knowing that you can’t right away is hitting you pretty hard, at the latest once you’re back home.

I haven’t experienced this in over 6 years – until two days ago, when I spontaneously went to CCXP in Cologne, only to meet one of my favourite actors for the past 10 years, Zachary Levi, for a short couple of seconds. And I have to say, I came back with more than what I went there for.

First of all – I met the damned BEST Cosplay I have ever seen in my entire life, and ever since, I just can’t seem to get the 5 guys out of my head:

As a huge Marvel fan, this “Avengers” group has rocked my world as much as nothing at such an event has ever done before, and the guys – all of them from Italy – are just mindblowingly good. Especially Marco Spatola, the one as Tony Stark is just…let’s just say I obviously am still able to become a massive fangirl 6 years on, with no sign of it fading away any time soon. Hell, I’ve printed the picture I took with them out and it now hangs next to my bed!  It shook me even more than the fact that after 10 years I finally met one of my idols, Zachary Levi – CRAZY.  By the way – I am even more amazed by that man than I already was before. He’s humble, kind, funny, a gentleman, and he gives you nothing but good feelings when you meet him. And when you’re anxious or nervous, it instantly fades once you stand face to face with that amazing human being. He just has this wonderful aura that makes you feel better and all warm and happy inside.

And even though I’m turning 33 in just three weeks, I’ve felt the Conblues set in the moment I waited for my train home after less than 3 hours at CCXP. Despite being there on my own, not being able to experience it with a friend for the first time since 2011, I missed everything about it already. The atmosphere at these events still feels like something else entirely. The adrenaline rush when meeting your stars, of getting in touch with other fans, and for the first time for me, also with Cosplayers of all kinds, the feeling like being in a completely different world for just a bit. I’ve been talking to a girl I met online when we both saw Zachary Levi was attending, and hearing my feelings about that entire day being redirected at me from her, all that shared love and happiness, is something I haven’t felt since my last Convention in 2013, and though it’s crazy at my age, I feel like I’m 25 again, when I first experienced it. It’s crazy, and weird, and I want to talk about it 24/7 right now. And despite the fact that a couple of years back I knew I was getting too old for these events, I know for a fact now that you’re never too old for them. Because once you’re back there, with all those fellow souls, it doesn’t matter how old you are, what you look like, the only thing that counts is the atmosphere completely taking you in and embracing you like an old friend, as if you’ve never been away.

See you June 25th-28th 2020, CCXP. See you, Gabriele, Marco, Michele, Matteo & Marko. Can’t wait to feel the same exhilaration all over again, there’s not much like it.

How did the Avengers phrase it?

“Whatever it takes.”

Coriolanus – Savoy Theatre Hamburg 10.03.2014

This was the screening at a cinema of the original London play that took place at the Donmar Warehouse for a couple of weeks. I was quite excited for it since my best friend and I decided we’d go to see it together, because it would probably be the only time I’d ever get this close to a Hollywood Actor. Sad, I know. Plus, it had Tom Hiddleston in it. Now,  I have never been a huge fan of him; I adored his acting in the “Thor” movies and, especially, in “The Avengers”, but that was about it. But after seeing that play on the screen, my opinion has definitely changed, because, hands down – he was amazing as Caius Martius Coriolanus.

And sadly…that is all I can say about it.

As some of you know, I am not a native english speaker, I’m from Germany and english is definitely not my native language. And even in german, I have difficulties to understand the language in theatre plays of Shakespeare (a lot of people have that problem, right? Please, somebody say yes so I feel less stupid.). The language used in them is so….exhausting. My best friend and I decided that therefor, it would be easier to watch the “Coriolanus” movie first, to at least get a bit of the storyline that we hadn’t already read online somewhere. Fact is, that movie was exhausting, too. Maybe I am just not a Shakespeare person, or no, I definitely am not. If I watch something, I need to understand it to enjoy it. And that movie left me even more confused than I was before, and I just hoped that the screening in my favourite language AND my favourite accent would turn things around for me.

It didn’t.

I am not scared to admit (and yes, highly am ashamed of myself, to be fair), that during the 2nd half, I slightly fell asleep during the last conversation Coriolanus (Tom Hiddleston) has with his mother (Deborah Finlay) before he wants to go to “war” with Aufidius (Hadley Fraser). Partly the problem was that the cinema seat was way too comfortable: there was a square leather stool infront of my feet and I could stretch back in my seat and I would lay back, as if I am lying in a very leathery and soft lawn chair. The other problem was, that now, listening to Shakespeare in english, and more, in british english, that it was the first time I was seriously overwhelmed with my favourite language. At the first few minutes I felt like “Alright, this is going well, I understand it better than the weird movie language.”, but soon I realized I was wrong. Shakespeare-y language all along, and I am honest: if I wouldn’t have watched the movie first, I would’ve understood jack squad. Hell, even WITH the movie, I only understood things because they sounded familiar from it (like in the scene when Coriolanus and Aufidius meet again in the 2nd half and Aufidius welcomes him like a long lost lover – hilarious). And that is pretty sad, because I would’ve loved to fully get it. I feel stupid not getting it, not understanding it. Because I feel like I couldn’t fully appreciate the actors the way they deserved.

Because the Cast was absolutely wonderful. I couldn’t stop staring at Tom, his talent, and everything about him, he was flawless. He even had these tiny moments when he was hilarious without intending to be. Hadley Fraser…I totally understand why he is so popular and why he was cast in “Les Misérables”. When I saw Alfred Enoch (Titus Lartius), I stared at him every single second (that I was not staring at Tom, of course) because he looked so familiar…until I finally realized he was Dean Thomas from the “Harry Potter” movie series. How small the world can be.
I won’t even start on Deborah Findlay (Volumnia) – she was amazing. The way she acted – wow. She was so emotional and convincing in playing the desperate mother who wants her son back on the right track after somehow having pushed him onto the wrong one before.

But my star was definitely Tom. I have barely seen someone so convincing on a theatre stage, let alone, in a movie. Every time the camera zoomed in on his face and you could see the tears watering in his beautiful eyes….you just wanted to go over and hug him, because it looked so real! And it touched me deep inside, I have to admit. He makes you forgive him for his arrogance, his reckless and brutal behaviour in the first two and a half hours in his last 10 minutes in that role. He played it out perfectly, and the way he died was certainly quite brutal – but with me not having any problem with too much blood on a stage or a screen, I was at least fine with that (even if not with Tom dying, I even had tears in my eyes, myself, soft me).

So my resumé: I am glad I did this experience, that I got to see “Coriolanus” and that I saw Tom Hiddleston after I had heard so much praise for him for that role – which he most definitely deserves. But I have come to the conclusion that I won’t put myself in the same position of watching a Shakespeare play in english again, because for me as a native german it is just too exhausting, and I would hate to miss out on such an amazing Cast and set once again because I fall asleep or simply just can’t enjoy it because I have to focus too much on understanding it. The actors deserve more acknowledgement from me, more appreciation, and I couldn’t live with myself if I couldn’t give them that.